truth

And if not, He is still good. 

Oh friends, how easy it is to get discouraged and seemingly forget how good, how sweet, and how gentle God is with us. 

We, as imperfect people, become impatient with our desires. We want immediate gratification. We see something we want and allow it to consume us until we either get what we want, or become angry and frustrated that God isn't allowing us to have what it is we seek. 

I will be the first to stand up and say I cannot count how many times I have sat in my car and yelled at God because my selfish, human desires have become a priority in my life, and I've been hurt when things don't turn out the way I had hoped (planned).

The Lord is teaching me a lot right now about control. Because so much was out of my control growing up, I've tried to overcompensate by controlling every aspect of my life the past few years. But lately, when I don't get what I want, I've felt the Lord pushing me towards truth. 

Truth: 

But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! 

Luke 12:28

How unfathomable is it, that anything I would have planned for myself is not nearly as wonderful as what God will do for me. 

Today I am remembering that when life isn't what I had hoped, God is still good. Friends, I challenge you to live in the truth He offers today. 

Life with Jesus is so, so sweet. Soak it up.

loved.

After spending the past weekend with 15 high school girls from all different situations in life, I feel one thing: loved.

Maybe you thought I would say "exhausted," "sleep-deprived," "brokenness," or maybe even "pain" "hurt" or a thousand other adjectives to describe the messy way of life before we are wrecked and restored by Jesus. I'm sure my high school friends, (some admittedly, some not) all felt these emotions this weekend. Getting to witness it all, however, only made me feel incredibly loved by Jesus.

I am so unworthy to witness transformation and healing at His hand, yet He brought me to this place of ministry where I get to witness transformation of lives from brokenness to restoration. I get to watch Jesus take the lives of my friends, hurting and broken, used and dirty, and make them new. I get to watch Jesus restore life to my friend who has had her innocence and her childhood stolen from her. I get to watch him redeem my friends who don't feel worthy of Jesus or the cross. I get to watch Him break down walls and build community within a group of girls who otherwise wouldn't realize how similar their struggles and lives are.

I don't feel like I can fully express the amount of love I felt from Jesus watching this weekend unfold. In doing ministry with my high school friends, I felt Jesus pursuing my heart in a new way. Jesus called me to Him while calling my friends to Him. I experienced fullness in Jesus because of my high school friends at camp, and I can't explain how thankful I am for a Jesus that pursues me and allows me to be intentional in pursuing my high school friends.

Yes, this weekend was tiring, I was sick, I didn't get enough sleep, but none of those things have any comparison to the joy I felt this weekend.

Many people struggle with their calling in life... This is something I have struggled with for a while now. But I'm slowly beginning to realize my calling is to share the love of Jesus. And in doing that, I have found that I am more loved, pursued, and cared for than I could have ever dreamed possible.

i need your help!

Somehow, someway, I noticed that overnight I had 30 page views on my blog! What?? Who would have thunk it possible?

Well, after noticing that, I have to insert a shameless plug for Young Life here. If you have been following my blog you know that I am involved with this ministry. Seeing how many people have read my blog just today alone, I thought, why not?

So, if you feel led to do so, I would love to ask you to partner with me in showing high school students the love of Jesus. It is impossible to have Young Life without funding from donors-
Click here to support!

The above is a link where you can donate to help fund this ministry. If you feel led I thank you so much. If not then thanks for reading and I hope you continue to do so!

spring

One thing I love is the spring weather. How incredible does it feel to come out of a season of deadness- the cold, dark winter? Once on the other side it's all smiles. Warm weather, shorts, Chacos and good days all around. 

However, as we come out of this cold, dead season, we come into a season that brings new beginnings- and change. Though the change of seasons is always a welcome one, the life changes that occur aren't always so welcome. 

This spring, my world will be rocked with change. Not only are all of my roommates graduating and moving on to do great things in the world, some of my sweet sweet Young Life girls are graduating high school. One of my friends will be gone for 11 months venturing around the world doing ministry. 

And with all this change happening around me, I am here. 

The realization that my bubble I've lived in for 4 years now is bursting.. well that's scary.  

I feel so much fear. In all this fear, I've felt the Lord telling me one thing over and over. 

Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

Be still. 

Wait, quietly. Trust. 

Know that I am God. 

I find so much peace in those words. 

Know that I will take care of you. Know that I have a grander plan that you could dare imagine. Know that I am greater than the fear than consumes you. I am your Lord. Do you believe that? 

What would my life look like if I truly believed in my heart that the Lord is constant and unchanging. That He has a far grander plan for my life than I can envision. 

I pray that as I move through seasons of life and uncertainty that the Lord will remind me of his great plan for me. I pray the Lord will remind me that He is in control. That I can give up trying and planning and just be still. Rest in Him. Trust Him. 

I pray this for my sweet friends graduating high school. I pray that I show them Jesus. I pray that they see what it means to follow the Lord and desire more of Him. I pray they leave high school with hearts for Jesus. That all of the time spent in campaigners and at club and one on one isn't in vain. 

faithfulness

God is good.. All the time.. All the time... GOD IS GOOD! 

Why am I a Young Life leader? So so many times I have asked myself this question. Why, of all the sweet, sweet people in my life, did God choose me? I'm not qualified to lead anyone, I mess up consistently. The truth of it is that God choose me. I don't know why, and maybe I'm not meant to know. But one thing I know without a doubt is that I have such a deep love for this ministry. As a freshman in college, I have absolutely no clue why I ended up involved with Young Life. If you had asked me at that time if I saw myself pursuing ministry, I would have said HECK NO. I can't do that. But, four years later, I can't imagine my life without YL. There is a place in my heart that hurts for high school girls at White County.  

That being said, I am overwhelmed at the heart of the students at WCHS. A week ago, there was a challenge brought at club to get 50 kids to club next week and Mike (team lead) will swallow a live goldfish. Not only did the students totally own the challenge as their own goal, they made it happen. Last night, WCHS had 52 kids at club. That may be more than we've had in my time as a leader. INCREDIBLE. Not only did I get to witness this, I had to privilege of telling those 52 high school students about Jesus. I am not good enough and will never be good enough to deserve that. But the Lord choose me and for that I am so thankful. 

In the few hours following club, my phone was blowing up from social media notifications from students talking about how great club was. I can only sit in awe of God on this one. 

Last night really showed the Lord's faithfulness. 

And with that, I have a really full heart today. 

reckless abandon

I have been playing this phrase over and over in my head for the past few days after hearing it on a TV show. What does it mean? The actual definition for reckless abandon is "without care or regard for consequences." 

wow. 

Imagine what we could accomplish if we loved without care or regard for consequences. If we let go of our insecurities and the things that keep us from loving each other the way God loves us, how incredible would our relationships with others be?

Did someone or something just come to mind? This sure brought a lot to my mind.  

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,  looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12: 1-2

The Lord calls us to love others with reckless abandon. To not be afraid of the consequences. To not be afraid of what happens if we aren't loved back. To go into a high school of students knowing we may be ignored. To be bold with our friends. To call them out-lovingly- when he leads. 

But the truth is, we don't always follow his leading. We are fearful. Fearful of consequences. Fearful of putting ourselves out there with no security blanket. 

Friends, live with reckless abandon for the Lord. This is a challenge I give to myself, and to those of you who may be reading this. Don't be afraid of consequences. Fear is not from the Lord. Be confident in His direction, and run willingly where he leads. 

Lately, I've really been struggling in one area: faith. As hard as it is to admit to others, I think its even harder to admit to myself. As a Christian there are such high standards for living set forth by others as well as those I put upon myself. Having questions and doubts and fears has such a taboo attached to it that sometimes I'm afraid to admit it. 

What does scripture mean to me?

Where does it fit into my life... and the dreaded questions that many of us have asked at one point...

How do we know this is true?

I think this is where faith comes in. Trusting and believing that what the Lord says is good and true. 

It is HARD. Why should I lie?

Sometimes I question everything. And until very recently, I've tried not to acknowledge it. Because acknowledging that it exists makes it real. And in the effort to look like I have it all together, I don't want to add another struggle to that list. 

In particular, growing up in the church made it hard to ever question it. Though I KNOW without a doubt that a DID have a choice, growing up it did not seem that way. I went to church and I was a Christian. It was an effort to look put-together. 

Though I have been presented with some answers to my questions, I am still struggling to find that comfortable place. And then while reading about doubts, I find this article:

 http://www.patheos.com/blogs/peterenns/2011/10/why-it%E2%80%99s-good-to-doubt-god/

There were a couple things that really stood out to me:

1. Doubting is growing? WUT? No, not what I've always heard. 

"Doubt forces us to look at who we think God is."    

That it does. And in that, I would definitely say my understanding of who God is has grown. 

and my favorite:

2. God wants us to die to ourselves. 

 38"And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. 39"He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it.

 

This truth of the word is so reassuring. In losing my comfort of trusting what I have always known, I have become uncomfortable. 

"Cassie, my beloved- Take up your cross; become uncomfortable, challenge your thoughts and what you've known me to be all of your life. Uproot all of that so that I can give you new, refreshing life. When you become comfortable in Your relationship I will challenge You." 

This place of questioning is hard, but there is solace knowing the Lord is using this to conform me to His image. It's all in His time.