Saturday, November 23, 2013
emotion
Lately, I feel like I am full of emotion, which is SO unlike me naturally. I hide my feelings; it's my go-to reaction. The smallest things had driven me crazy lately. I feel so out of place in my own home. My roommates make comments about my distance, but I don't want to close the distance. I don't have the desire to be around them. I feel left out and hurt. I don't understand where that is coming from. I am so full of fear. I am fearful of where I stand in relationships with my friends. I am fearful of where I stand in ministry. I feel like I have spent the past three years of ministry being overshadowed. Nothing I can do is as good as what others do. I am hurt. I don't understand where these emotions are coming from, or why they have surfaced now. In saying all of this, the Lord is good. He has continually brought me back to Him. Through these struggles, I have found peace in Him. The emotions haven't disappeared, but I know there will be light in them. When journaling a couple days ago I remember writing this sentence: Conform me to You; use my struggles to reveal Your goodness. I echo that here. I want to be conformed to the image of Christ. I really do. Life is hard, but God's purpose is greater.
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Truth: I have been feeling the exact same way lately. Know that you are not alone. The Lord is getting me through this crazy season, and I will pray that you feel him pulling you through as well. Keep fighting the good fight. It'll all be worth it. Love you!
ReplyDeleteAlso remember that Jesus doesn't love one person over another person. His favor towards one person doing one kind of ministry is no more than another doing another kind of ministry or even less ministry. It's not about what we do as Christians or what we put forth in ministry that makes Jesus love us, He just does! Keep that in mind. I struggle with this too, and that's been the ONLY thing that has helped me in remembering that God doesn't have favorites.
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