pressure.

I feel so many pressures to be the best.
To be perfect.
To make good grades.
To lose weight.
To be "mature" in my faith.
To say the right things.
To be the best YL leader.
To be good enough. 

Sometimes I put this pressure on myself.
Other times others pressure me, often without even knowing it.

I feel like I have so much to live up to. I set impossible standards for myself last year when I made my mistakes. I still get judged for those things. My friends who don't know what was going on in my life last year make judgements about me based on things they may or may not know the truth about.

I'm not that person anymore. I say no repeatedly when temptations arise. I have worked so hard the past few months to change how people see me. But nothing I do matters.
No matter how "good" I am, it won't matter. People will always talk.

I am so tired of the pressure to live up to someone else's standards.
If I ask a question, I am belittled. If I say something wrong, I am made fun of. If I eat something unhealthy, I'm criticized.

I'm just not good enough.

Lord, please take away the pressure for me to perform well for others. I am Your daughter Lord, and nothing else matters. I can't keep doing it. Give me peace about all the things going on in my life Lord. And ultimately, remind me that You are God, and You are greater than my mistakes.